WOW...I almost want to thank anonymous for writing something so mean, because in return I got showered with love and support. I seriously didn't even put on mascara yesterday because I had tears rolling down my face all day.
{happy/grateful/blessed/love tears of course}
I got endless phone calls, texts, facebook comments and messages, along with all of the comments on here with words of love and encouragement. I have never felt so much support in my life and I can't say thank you enough. I also got a few e-mails saying they can relate exactly to the way I'm feeling and that was so great to hear and the whole reasoning behind my post. SPEAKING of my {deleted} post, the amazing Rhonda from Gapquilter e-mailed me the post I had deleted and I wanted to share it with you all.
{is it bad that I'm seriously sooo scared to post this again????
PLEASE
no jump off a cliff comments I beg you..}
Ok, here goes nothing..
Rozalynn here:
I need some motherly advice here ladies...
Ok, so this is sort of a personal topic for me. And I knew I could come to my bloggy friends for advice because you guys are just the best! So here's the questions of the day.. How do you know when you're ready to have a baby? Are you ever REALLY ready? Because there are days that I'm totally wanting a baby and I think I could do it, and then there are other times when I'm straight up thinking NO WAY!
(so I guess that's probably my answer right there that I'm Not ready haha)
It sure doesn't help that my husband has been BEGGING to have one for the last three months. All of his friends are having them and he's feeling a bit left out. And I won't lie, I do to! I had a sister and two cousins who had babies all at the same time! So when we get together, they are all talking about baby stuff and I'm completely out of the loop.
(but at the same time I get to go home and have an
amazing nights sleep ;)
They seem like so much fun, but also SO MUCH WORK!
I'm in school full time and I graduate in December. So the hubbies thinking is even if we started now I'd be graduated before the babe got here. But I don't want to be stressed out with boards and tests and blah blah blah and have my baby be under lots of stress. But then I see so many girls having babies while going to school and they make it work?
(super women is what they are..)
SO I just don't know.. sometimes I feel like I am just being Super selfish and coming up with a {million and ten} excuses not to have a baby. But at the same time I feel like I'm trying to be smart about it so I can actually spend time with my baby and not be at school all day! Do you see my dilemma here! And I keep telling myself as soon as I'm done with school I'll be ready. But then I get to thinking I have all these fabulous student loans I have to pay off and I want to work full time and actually use the Bachelors degree I'm getting. so Then I get to thinkin' maybe I'll work a year or two and THEN have a baby.....
So THEN I might just put it off for TEN years because I'll never feel READY!
So I guess what it all comes down to is....
do you ever {really} feel ready to have a baby?
(thanks for listening to my schpeal... my husband is not a very good listener when it comes to this subject ;)
*Thanks again everyone, I seriously love you all so much
(bloggy hugs and kisses)
You Go Girl! I'm so glad you were brave and re-posted this as I hadn't had a chance to read it and gathered so much strength from your words! You are SO fun and SO awesome and I wish you all the best in your quest of motherhood! It's the best journey you'll ever take and you'll be the best mother you can possibly be because you are a beautiful person on the inside (and the out:) ) and THAT'S what it takes to be a mother. Look at you being all "ready"! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy I got to read this. I read your post about the mean comment person, and I'm glad you had the courage to repost it. You are deffinately not the only one that feels that way. I've been married for a little over a year now, and see babies left and right and wonder "where is mine?". But when talking with my hubby, we conclude that we are not ready. Finnally, my mom and sister(two wonderful moms) informed me that YOU WILL NEVER BE READY! Financially, emotionally or any other way. But when that baby comes, it all just seems to come together. (with a lot of work that is). But both have told me how blessed they are to have had their children.
ReplyDeleteRozalynn this is an awesome post!!! I totally agree 100%
ReplyDeleteAnd you worrying about all this is going to make you a great mother! And for the record (And for little miss anonymous) I have a baby but when I found out that my sister and SIL were having babies I felt left out! I think its our bodies way of getting us ready for a baby.. longing and wanting something and knowing its going to be hard work is a good thing it'll make you a little bit more prepared... True life will never be the same when that little baby comes.. But it is the worlds greatest blessing and it brings us closer to the lord... This post is great and I am sure woman agree! I am glad you put it back up here! And you shared something personal in a very classy way.. So I applaud you!! You just are so great!
Rozalynn ~ I only wish I had been so smart! I love my two children dearly but I really wasn't ready. I give anyone huge kudos for thinking mothering thru before diving in. What courage it took for you to post this. I would like to tell that jerk what I {trulie} think of her heartlessness. You're awesome. Stick with you're motherly instincts... because you have them.
ReplyDeleteThe fact is that there will always be reasons not to have a baby. That's the hard part. I'm on my third pregnancy and there were a million reasons not to get pregnant each time. So why did I do it? Because I knew the Lord wanted me to. Kyle and I always went forward with having a baby after lots of prayer, fasting, and temple attendance. When it is sanctioned by the Lord, there is no reason to fear the unknown :) Things have been tough, and things have been tight, but we've always been taken care of. I loved your post and loved hearing simple honest feelings. We've all been there. Good luck in your decision making! Whenever the time comes, you'll be an amazing mommy!
ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful you reposted this! Like I said in my comment I left on the "anonymous comment" post, I'm in the same place you are. I just think there are so many things I want to do first! My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years and I feel like EVERYONE thinks we NEED a baby now. I just want to spend some alone time with him. We are both in our 30's so I know that leaves "little" time for us to have kids, but at the same time...we know we are going to be "old" parents so lets get our alone time in NOW!!! My friends have told me that you are never really prepared or ready...even if you are trying. They have also told me that we should do as much as possible (travel especially) before we have a kid b/c life changes dramatically. I know its a decision that you and your husband have to make together. Keep us all posted! :)
ReplyDeleteI don't get where someone would read that and write something so awful. Those are completely normal feelings. You were simply stating the dilema of when is the best time. And honestly, there never is a perfect time. It's one of those things that you just roll with and it all works out. It's worth all the sleepless nights. And even after your precious baby smiles at you and all is right with the world, there will be days you wonder what the heck you got yourself into and that doesn't make you a bad person. Enough said.
ReplyDeleteWOW. I've just gotten caught up and read through all your comments. I was going to leave a totally different comment but after reading your, I guess second, anonymous comment above I've changed my mind. Isn't it funny how your friend wanted to talk crap about Anonymous #1 and totally brought herself lower than them by trash talking? who knows, maybe starts with a C and end with a lyn and her sisters, mother, neighbor, left the comment but if they didn't... I sure hope they didn't read that comment. Since when do 2 wrongs make a right?
ReplyDeleteeither way... I'm glad you had lots of outpouring of love and support. i don't know you, i knew mitch when he was on his mission, but I'm sure you are amazing! And really? screw everyone else- especially the negative people! with a public blog there are bound to be a lot more negative comments but keep your chin up- life holds some amazing treasures for you! it's easy to see. thanks for being public. i enjoy reading your blog when i get a chance <3
I'm so glad you posted this again. I hadn't got to read it before, and wanted to.
ReplyDeleteI think you'll know when you're ready. It's different for everybody. For me, I always knew I wanted children, and put that as a priority. Hubby was right a long with me. I didn't have nearly as much school behind me as you do though. So when I got pregnant, that was my last semester of school. There are times I really want to go back, but never would I have changed the choice I made.
Pray about it with your husband, and when the time is right you'll be ready. You're going to make a great mom one day.