May 28, 2011

Our first Anonymous Comment

you are definitely not ready. you sound SO stupid. "everyone else is having them and i feel left out"?!! this is not a competition. This is a human being and the rest of your life. i dont think you will ever be "ready" to have a child but if your whole purpose in having one is because everyone else is doing it...then please do us all a favor and jump off a cliff. this is personal, it is between you and your husband and hopefully God. If no one else ever had children would you feel less inclined? I think you need to grow up.
By Anonymous on Question of the day at 10:39 AM

You know you're a big deal when.... 
you get your first angry anonymous comment.
{Ashlie's Input}
We realize we can't be sheltered by every negative comment out there.  We chose to put ourselves out there to share our {trulie scrumptious} lives with all of you.  We encourage and respect our readers to have their own opinions, but NO ONE needs to hear that they should take their own life because you don't agree with what we've written.  At that point, maybe you shouldn't be reading our blog.  If you do feel the need to divulge in a negative comment, own up to it by telling us who you are. 

"sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me." 
Whoever wrote that obviously never received an anonymous comment on their blog.
 I wish I could say I'm that tough girl who doesn't let things get me down, but I'm not. 
Sometimes I'm a lot more sensitive than I'd like to admit.

 I wrote a post about my mixed emotions on having a baby. I wish now I wouldn't have deleted it because it was straight from my heart. All my thoughts I've been having on feeling ready to have a child. 
But the second I saw that anonymous comment my eyes filled up with tears and I  didn't want to see it ever again.
 so I deleted it.
 But then I looked under my comment tab.
 and it was still there...
 I texted my sister and told her to go read it. 
She called me immediately and we were both crying because of these hurtful words that were written about MY feelings. At first I felt so angry and embarrassed that someone would write such offensive words about my thoughts. But my sister talked to me and told me that it was a good post and there are probably hundreds of other women who can relate to the way I'm feeling. She also made me realize that there are people out there who think differently than we do and they are entitled to their own opinions. We want our blog to be a place that woman can relate to us and help us get through our struggles.

I do regret deleting my post on a rash impulse due to that harsh comment.  Now that {one} person out there will never get to read  and possibly relate to the way I'm feeling right now. So although this comment made me cry, It taught me that not every person is going to think like me, or agree with the things we post on our blog or 
even LIKE me for that matter. 
 And that's OK. We want everyone to feel welcome to express their feelings on our blog.
We DO however ask you to keep your
 "do us all a favor and jump off a cliff" 
comments to yourself. 
If you do have a different opinion, please say it in a more 
{scrumptious} way. 
 So anonymous.. Thank you for your concern, but I feel like I'll be a wonderful mom someday.. when that day will be I'm not yet sure..
And I definitely won't be jumping off any cliffs anytime soon, so it looks like your stuck with me.. 

But a little advice for you:
next time you decide to leave an anonymous comment, I encourage you to stand behind your words, with a name... 
yours truly,


  1. Wow. I have to say, I read your first post, and wish I'd had time to post before it was deleted....but 3 year olds have a way of making sure these things don't happen lol! And having read the 'Anonymous' post, I think your reply above was remarkably restrained! (((HUGS)))
    I've heard a saying a lot that goes 'If you wait until the 'time is right' to have children - you'll never have them!' and I think that's true! But if you can function on very little or no sleep, clean up behind other people's children (sick,poop,snot etc!) then you'll have NO trouble with your own child - it's different, somehow easier lol! NO one is ever 'ready' to have a child - no matter how many people you talk to, books you read, videos you watch, kids you babysit - it won't prepare you, trust me! But the love and wonder that a child places in your heart is so amazing that it can't be explained. The fact that you're even worrying about being a parent, let alone a good one, suggests to me that you WOULD be a good one. Bad parents don't care. You care already and you don't even have a baby yet!
    Sorry if I've rambled on, I hope some of what I've said has made sense lol! Do what YOU and your husband think is right, and don't let anyone else sway you one way or another. (((HUGS))) xx

  2. I think that "anonymous" sounds like just the type of person to talk about what a good mom is. I'll bet she belittles her children and encourages them to jump off cliffs, and screams and yells about personal issues being between an individual and a God that she seems to know so much about. Next time she is attempting to shred somebody as sweet as Rozalyn, she needs to reflect a little more on that God she mentioned.


    You had clearly said that it was going to be a personal post. And I don't think that person had any right to tell you to "jump off a cliff."

    My husband would praise you for waiting as long as you and Mitch have to have a baby! Boston was a welcomed surprise and I had those thoughts run through my mind on more then one occasion! Whether you are "ready or not" to have a child, you get ready! :) being a mom is absolutely WONDERFUL but that doesn't mean that there is a time and a place to have one! Because I think we both know that whether or not your ready the lord will make it happen. It could be now. It could be in a couple years! Whether you are "trying" or not.

    I hope you and Mitch find comfort in your decision! :)

    And ps
    I would have said MUCH ruder things to ms. Anonymous!

  4. I am sorry you had to go through this. That was such an awful and disturbing post that they wrote. I understand people have their own opinions about when a person should or shouldn't be starting a family, but come on there was/is no need to be so rude. I love your guys blog. Keep up the good work. Always stay positive no matter what!!

  5. I seriously cried at your responses to that comment. You are both such amazing woman I can tell through your writing and through your personal stories. Even though you were hurt (which hello I would be hysterical) I feel like you acted amazing about it. I did read that post and I could totally relate to a lot of what you were saying before I had my baby. I love ya girls I seriously do and I love reading what you have to say. You are honest and that is what I like most about it. I seriously cannot believe that that person said something like that how could you tell someone to jump off a cliff. I am soooo sensitive to that ah its just makes me want to bawl thinking about it. Just remember so many people admire you! more people than I think you think. And you will be An adorable wonderful mom when the day comes. Thank you for being honest, thank you for sharing your feelings, and thank you for acting so amazing about all of this.

    A mommy's life...with a touch of YELLOW

  6. I am a mother of 4 children, 2 of whom are now grown and the other two are teenagers. I understand your indecision about wanting to be a mother and wondering if you're ready. I was never a cute pregnant woman who reveled in the glorious process overtaking my body. My emotions were all over the place. I could sleep standing up. I bear literal scars of each and every child and I nearly died having the last one. And THEN I suffered post-partum depression after each one. Bearing children was neither glorious or fun for me. BUT they were all worth it.
    My point is, you're not going to know what your experience with having children will be until you have them. The fact that you're concerned enough to question your readiness suggests you care for your future children already.
    Anonymous is wrong and you are amazing for putting such thoughts out there. Hang tough. You know you're making a difference when you can bring out the crazies!

  7. I am shocked!! I think you will be the best mother! People just don't think before they talk.. I am so sorry that someone who has no idea what a wonderful person you are would feel the need to write something so hurtful over something that every women feels at least once in her life! I seriously wish I had the feelings you do.. It would have made me appreciated my pregnancy more and made me feel more ready.. You are truly an amazing person!! I love ya

  8. Oh WOW! That comment was SHOCKING! Really, I actually jumped when I read it. I'm so sorry that you were hurt by someone that apparently has no idea what you are going through. Its so easy for people to live in their small worlds, dealing with their own circumstances, their own personalities, their own reality and place it on everyone else. We all have to be very careful to pass judgement on others when we aren't living their daily life! I wish I would have read your post and how you are feeling about being a mom. It sounds like I have a lot of the same feelings. My best friend (my chosen-sister b/c neither of us have one) has two kids. I have been there for both of their births and love them sooooo much! However, I go back and forth on having kids that are my own. We aren't "trying", but we aren't doing anything to stop it. Just believing that God will give us a baby in his time. Anyway---most months I get excited when I'm not pregnant. I get excited that I get at least one more month where I get my husband to myself. I love our life and he's my best friend....I don't know if I'm ready for that to change. I get excited that we still get to travel when we want. I love that we aren't "tied down". Then there are times that I get excited about being a mom, seeing my husband as a dad, and just growing our family. So, even if our reasons are different, I know how it feels to question if you're "ready". I pray that you will be able to walk away from that negative comment and be stronger! You are not wrong in what you are thinking or believe. You have to do what is best for you! There is nothing wrong with you if you decide to do something different than what society thinks you should...whether that is not having kids at all or waiting until you are older. I have a friend that had her first child at 42! Again, I'm sorry that someone felt the need to be so hateful. You are exactly right...even the people that don't agree can tell you in a more civil way. Love your blog!!! Thanks for sharing!!

  9. OH.MY.GOSH!!! I can't believe someone would say that! WOW. After my first "anonymous" comment I went to my profile options and there is a place where you can click on an option to not allow anonymous comments! And I haven't had any bad remarks ever since! :) I just can't believe some people...I could NEVER be mean to someone like that...I don't understand how other people can! ESPECIALLY to YOU!!! You are, like, the sweetest girls EVER. GRRRRRRRR. (The Blog BFF claws are starting to come out! Like...Wolverine over here.) They must be so incredible unhappy to feel the need to bring others down, ya know? Only YOU will know when it's time. We waited 3 years after we got married, so I know what you're feeling. But, when the time is right, you will know. (Okay, so maybe my daughter had to come and TELL me she wanted to come down...hahah! True story!) Anyway...I'll shut up now. Just remember, you have HUNDREDS of people who ADORE you, and only one meanie head. So, whoever it was is totally outnumbered by us! ;) ((HUGS)) Love ya!

  10. Dear Anonymous,
    Evidently you don't know my daughters very well. If you did, you would know that they are the most wonderful, caring, considerate Young women you could ever meet. Have you ever watched them with children? Well I have, and they have more patience and love than even I did at their age. I have watched them with our first grand daughter and I am totally amazed. If any child was to be blessed to a loving home, it would be to the homes of my girls. Not only do they have an awesome way about them, but they have the gospel and the spirit that dwells in their homes. When we are all together, there is something special that happens within the walls. No one can ever take that feeling away, and no matter what harsh words are said, My daughters have the grace and dignity to answer back with more love in their hearts and more positive words (because thats just who they are) Ashlie and Rozalynn, You are both beautiful, wonderful girls and I love you both so much. And to Miss Anonymous, you must not have children of your own to not understand the important decision and all it takes to bring children into this world, At least Rozalynn is thinking about all aspects of her life and situation before she brings such a precious life into her life. She has been waiting patiently to finish school so that she will be able to give that child every bit of her time and energy! Love, Shauna Eaton(the mom)

  11. oh my goodness! I am so sorry!! You will be a great mom someday, and whoever wrote that was very inconsiderate. Big Hugs to you!!

  12. Roz, I am so sorry someone would say such horrible things to you. I was actually randomly thinking the other day about how amazing of a mom you are going to be! You are the sweetest, cutest girl ever and seeing you with your niece and with Trey, I know you are going to be the best mom. I am so filled with rage at that comment I want to sniper that person. I love you and hope you know how wonderful you are!

  13. How horrible! I read your original post and you were so honest and put yourself out there. Having a baby is a huge decision and no one is ever 100% ready. And even when you think you are, you'll doubt your decision constantly. How awesome is it that you've put so much thought into it and are waiting for the right time.

    Not only is the anonymous commenter a coward, but she is obviously insecure and jealous of you. You have so much going for you and I'm sure this person envies you in some way.

    I love your blog and it's personal posts like your original post that makes people fall in like with you and your blog. It makes it so much better when you feel like you "know" the person behind the blog.

    Sarah @ This Crazy Blessed Life

  14. As a mom of only 20 weeks the biggest and best thing I have learned during this crazy roller coaster that has been my life since January is that you aren't worrying about something baby related you aren't sane. So I say (without having read your first post) that if you are worried about having a baby, doing it right, getting things wrongs, making mistakes, etc, etc, etc...than you are going to be a GREAT mom.

  15. I'm sorry roz, you are a very strong girl so don't let stupid people get you down. You will make a great mommy when that time comes;)

  16. I would cry too if I had an anonymous comment like that too! I have the same feelings as you do, we have mixed emotions about having children just like you so we agree with you 100%!! And you go girl for confronting this person! I know you'll be a WONDERFUL mother someday :)

  17. What an awful person to say something like that! I missed the post you are referring to but last I check this is YOUR blog and you clearly stated these are YOUR feelings. No one else can tell you how you should feel. Now at least I can give you back a BIG bloggie hug. ;)

  18. One more thought... I saw this quote on eighteen25 blog yesterday:
    "If people are trying to bring you down it only means that you are above them." Perfect in this situation. :)

  19. That person obviously has a very ugly heart to say such a thing.

    I heartily recommend having a blog comment policy. Even if ugly-hearted anonymous commenters don't bother to read it (and they won't), if you have it in writing somewhere on your site that you reserve the right to delete (or better yet, mark as spam) comments that are mean spirited, abusive or off topic, then at the very least you can feel totally (mostly) okay about deleting comments like that.

  20. It just so happens that deleted post was still in my Reader. I copied it to Word if you would like to have it for personal reasons or to repost (which I encourage you to do). Many people feel the way you do. AND many moms have days when they are exhausted and question their decision BUT then they are kissed, hugged, loved on and it all goes away. We are human and to be honest I think Anonymous simply needs some love. Sounds to me like she is lacking in the very area you are strong ... IN LOVE. Don't hate her for her nasty comments but instead think of her needs. I pray the Lord will send His love to soften her heart and show her how to love others. Anyway, I have your original words if you want them. I will hold them for a couple of days or until I hear from you.

  21. It's too bad there are people out there in the world who are so bitter and hate their own lives so bad, that they try their best to bring others down with them. I honestly must say that I feel so sorry for this "Anonymous" person because they must live a miserable life full of anger and hate. What a horrible way to live your life. Lucky for you Rozy I can honestly say you are one of the happiest/friendliest/ sweetest/ most caring person I have ever met. You have changed my life for the good in the last year that I have known you, and I am so blessed to have such a great friend. I can't even begin to imagine what a great Mother you will be!! Don't ever let others get you down, they definitely aren't worth it:) Love you so much girly!!!

  22. Roz, I really wish I could have read your post. I have a feeling that I know almost exactly what your feeling like when it comes to every one else having kids and feeling a little left out because of it. Most of my friends are having babies right now as well and at times I feel like I'm getting left behind as well. Especially for those of us who have always known that someday we want to be a mommy. On the other hand, because it is such a huge decision that not only effects your life but the babies, I think its only natural to worry that you will never be "ready". After all everyone wants to give their children the very best. Is this any where near the mark? However I would just like to say that you seem like such a sweet and tender hearted girl that I KNOW you will make a wonderful caring mother and that your kids will be so lucky to get you and Mitch for parents, someday. I also wanted to thank you and Ashlie for being so open and honest with your readers about what your thinking and such... its part of the reason I love reading your blog! And I really hope that this one comment doesn't make either of you feel less inclined to keep being so honest. Thanks for inviting all of us readers into both of your lives and homes!

  23. I have never met you, but I went to high school with Mitch and found your blog after you added me as a friend on Facebook a few years ago. :)

    Even though I don't know you, I understand your hesitation to have a baby and worries about being able to give him/her all of your attention. That's a good thing! You want to make sure you are prepared to have one of Heavenly Father's precious spirits come to you. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother and when you do decide the time is right for a baby, Heavenly Father will help you prepare for it.

    Don't let an anonymous blog comment get you down. You know that you are a special daughter of God, and this person who's hurt you didn't think before she wrote something hurtful. When things are right, you'll know! :)


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